Hit a wall earlier than I wanted

It was bound to happen - I just thought I was strong enough for it to not happen in my first week. A bout of insomnia had me up at 4:30 a.m. - and that was when my morning started. I was exhausted, I was angry, I was a little stressed out. I know I should have gone for my run when the alarm went off at 6 a.m. as I had planned, but I talked myself out of it. I was too tired and the couch was comfy - I wasn't getting up. At 6:15 a.m. the guilt almost won over - I was oh so close to getting up and putting on my running shoes. But I let the negative voice win out again and I stayed on the couch and snuggled a little further under the blanket.

I'm disappointed in myself. How will I reach my goals if I talk myself out of it? But, I cannot let my disappointment take over. I cannot let the negative voice win.

Worse yet, the registration for the Princess Half Marathon increased by 20% in a week - and is dangerously close to selling out. Am I ready to commit - I don't know. Today's stumble sure isn't helping my confidence any. So, I did the next logical thing besides just paying the fee. I sat down and told my husband about my dream. It's not that I wanted to keep it a secret from him - it's not like he would have told me no or discouraged me from doing it. Far from it - he's my biggest cheerleader in everything I do. I just didn't want to disappoint more than just myself if I don't do it - if I chicken out. But, as I thought about it - I need someone to push me, to hold me accountable, to make me get out of bed before the sun comes up so I can get my run in. Plus, he has a major vote in this decision. Can we afford the trip overall, let alone the registration fee? Should I aim lower in my goals and plan for the Princess Half in 2015? Honestly, I do not know yet.

I've made the decision that financially, if the half fills up before I have the chance to sign up, I'm okay with it. When it comes to the money side of things, I can't be rash. However, the Kansas City Half Marathon is in October and I've decided to run that one instead, should the Disney Half fill up in the next few days as I suspect it will.

So, while the training schedule I'm *trying* to follow is set for me to run on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays I am breaking that this week. I'm getting up tomorrow and putting on my new running shoes and heading out when the alarm goes off. Bonus - now I have someone who will push me out of bed if I refuse to get out.